Last night at the Minneapolis Great Love Debate I shared with the audience the truth behind why strong women struggle to date and I wish to share this truth with you.
Are Men Really Attracted to Strong Women?
I work with many successful, independent women who are confused/frustrated by a perceived contradiction: society is “telling” them men are attracted to strong, independent women however these same women are not having that experience in their dating lives. Does this sound familiar to you?
Well here’s the deal, men do like strong, independent women; however most men are “turned off” by emasculating behavior from women. Most strong women are unaware that their behavior is emasculating the men they are meeting- nipping potential relationships in the bud, so to speak.
What Is Emasculating Behavior?
One of the most common emasculating behavior strong women exude is their need to emphasize how much they don’t need a man. This emasculating statement is not asserting your independence, nor is it proving you are a strong woman. What this emasculating behavior really does is send a signal that you are not fully open, not ready, or don’t know how to welcome a man into your life. It exposes how willing, or really unwilling, you are to be vulnerable as well as trust and respect a man. It’s a statement that is holding you back vs giving you freedom.
What Emasculating Behavior Does to a Man
I know that many women roll their eyes when you start talking about a man’s ego, but that’s because most women don’t realize that a man’s ego is not bulletproof, and how important it is to respect it. Emasculating a man is really not respecting a man, it’s not recognizing what a man needs from his partner. I am a firm believer that we are responsible for our own emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical well-being. However the people with whom we come in contact everyday have a powerful impact on those things. Healthy men know their worth and know they should be valued- they know what they have to offer and even though a strong, independent woman would be attractive to them, they stay clear of a woman showing signs she would emasculate, and not respect him.
My Challenge To You
So, if you are a strong, independent woman like myself, I challenge you to a quick self-examination exercise. Reflect on what messages, vibrations, energy, and attitudes you are sending out into the world. Think about your behavior, your body language and your choice of words. When you meet men do you come from a place of trying to sincerely connect and a willingness to be vulnerable? Are you open to the value that they can bring to your life? Or do you try to assert your strength and independence by showing them how much you don’t need them?
Connecting, being vulnerable, and respecting a man and his ego is not giving up your power, its quite the opposite, actually. There is nothing more powerful to a healthy man then when he meets a women who shows him not only she has a great deal of respect, value, and care for herself but also for her partner as well. In reality it demonstrates your confidence, security, and openness. That is truly beautiful and sexy.
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